Living in the past?
How can our past be such a source of pain to another?
We cannot go back and erase it. Odds are, anything in our past that could possibly hurt someone we are close to is something that we aren't too happy with ourselves. Hell, there is quite a bit I've done that I wouldn't mind not knowing about myself. Besides hiding it, what other course of action is there?
One option would be being completely honest with each other. Yes, you would have to learn many unpleasant detail, but it would be balanced. I just discovered something that I thought could be true about another, is. It wasn't that what I feared was true which upset me. It's that I was given details. Before I could stop him, I suddenly had enough for my over-imaginiative brain to conjure up a crushing mental image. One that I can't erase from my head any more than he can erase it from his past. As I lay there upset, I had to fight my old habits to keep from spilling details about a situation that he might equally abhor hearing about. Partly because I wanted to hurt him back, but partly because then we would be even. How could I be upset about being forced to picture his, if he had to picture mine?
But really, that is no solution.
Still, maybe there is a reason why our pasts can upset someone we know. Decisions that we make reflect the person that we are. Our tastes, interests, judgment and character. If past actions are found to be repulsive, isn't that justified?
I really don't want to think like that though. There has to be something else.
There has to be.
We cannot go back and erase it. Odds are, anything in our past that could possibly hurt someone we are close to is something that we aren't too happy with ourselves. Hell, there is quite a bit I've done that I wouldn't mind not knowing about myself. Besides hiding it, what other course of action is there?
One option would be being completely honest with each other. Yes, you would have to learn many unpleasant detail, but it would be balanced. I just discovered something that I thought could be true about another, is. It wasn't that what I feared was true which upset me. It's that I was given details. Before I could stop him, I suddenly had enough for my over-imaginiative brain to conjure up a crushing mental image. One that I can't erase from my head any more than he can erase it from his past. As I lay there upset, I had to fight my old habits to keep from spilling details about a situation that he might equally abhor hearing about. Partly because I wanted to hurt him back, but partly because then we would be even. How could I be upset about being forced to picture his, if he had to picture mine?
But really, that is no solution.
Still, maybe there is a reason why our pasts can upset someone we know. Decisions that we make reflect the person that we are. Our tastes, interests, judgment and character. If past actions are found to be repulsive, isn't that justified?
I really don't want to think like that though. There has to be something else.
There has to be.
posted by MindThatGirl at
3:03 AM
1 Comments:
That is exactly why the past should remain in the past. Having said that, it has a funny way of creeping into the present when it's kept under a tight blanket of secrecy. It is good to have no secret about the past. The challenge is to weigh how much one needs to divulge...
By
Cynth, at 6:05 AM
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