Is this sexy?

So I saw a couple girls making out the other night. To the general amusement of the guys they were around. I assume that these same guys were quite willing to buy the girls more beer in hopes of an encore and perhaps more. And while I can only hope that the little Girls Gone Wild wannabes were using this ploy to their advantage, I still find it all sad.

It was not sexy. Or especially attractive.

It was a performance. This was not a kiss of passion, attraction, love. It was a pathetic stunt for attention.

So yes, we all know that the guys dig a little lezzie action. But real lesbians don't give a shit if their display of affection turns on a guy, they kiss because they want to kiss. These two gals, however, were imitating lesbians to please the guys. Actually, they were probably imitating some GGW or porn girls. Which would make it an imitation of an imitation. How is that sexy?

Sensuality is sexy. How in touch can you be with your sensuality if you are acting? You feel sensation. It's in the way you emit electricity as you graze some cutie's arm, the heat radiated in the smile of the guy across the room, the magnetic pull of that girl in a tank and jeans as she throws back her head in laughter. That's sexy. Because it's real; I can feel it, I can trust it.

I used to feel quite negatively about porn. It wasn't the shoddy production value, feminist values, moral values or anything like that. It was because I knew that guys watched it. Odds were, whatever guy I was with would have seen his share of porn. And I didn't think I would be able to measure up to the fantasy porn girls. I was made to feel insecure with my honest expression of pleasure because it wasn't like the act presented to the male world anytime they pushed play.

After a few tries at 'playing the part' I realized it sucked. I was too busy thinking about what I was doing to just enjoy what was happening. So I stopped. And I trust that whatever my instinctive response is, it's fine. It is honest. Which, in my opinion, makes it 100 times better than any porn performance.

Now, this is not to say that I think performance has no part in healthy sexuality. There are a couple outfits in the closet that would back me up. But it is done in fun, and with a dose of irony.

These days mass media seems quite sexualized. At the same time we remain quite true to our puritanical roots. Art depicting the sexualized nude form is taboo. Cleverly cover the naughty bits, add unnatural enhancements, and add a coy smile and it's the recipe for successful sales for whatever stupid product (beer, hair products, shoes, it really doesn't matter; it's still the same formula). So while we are bombarded with sexualized imagery, the real act is to be kept in the shadows. Instead we get acceptable performances. And that is what is copied.

By girls in bars.

"Cause it's all you can be...It's ladies night, all the girls drink for free."